If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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