we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
