he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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