Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
