i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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