I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My balls are so social today.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
