They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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