is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
