dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
