question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
