i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
