Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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