I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
