Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
