yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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