The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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