i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The air was thick with penises
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
