I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
