i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
