I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
