kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
