Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
