I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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