Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
