we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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