you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
