is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
