Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
