He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
