So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
