Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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