you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
