i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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