Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
