I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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