scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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