is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
