Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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