if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
