This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
