Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
