The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
