your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
