Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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