when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
