Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
