I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
