I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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