I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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