Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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